Hello , This is one of the final posts of my overcoming fear series. These are testimonies from different people. Ride Along
I’m agoraphobic, which means that I sometimes deal with irrational fear related to travel. Beginning in childhood, travel often sent me into a full-body, nauseous, sweaty panic attack.
It hasn’t kept me housebound since a brief, harrowing period in my early twenties, but those memories remain with me. In some way, every flight I take is a small victory for the suicidal, terrified young woman I was back then, a girl whose closest thing to a win was walking down the driveway holding her parents’ hands and saying, “OK. This is enough for today.”
Thanks in large part to therapy and medication, my life is now quite different. As an author and comedian, I travel frequently and with relative ease. But on a recent flight from the south to Chicago, I experienced something that at least felt like real danger.
As our plane approached O’Hare, everything seemed normal. Cute babies napped (thank goodness), polite adults used headphones to listen to music (thank goodness). I sat beside a very pretty young woman who was sweet and quiet, and I did my best to return the favor. We descended, and I got ready to turn on my cellphone in just a few moments.
And then we bounced off the ground. Hard.
It was a jarring experience, literally. Things fell down, and up, and sideways. A few people screamed. Babies woke up and screamed. No one had told us anything, but as the plane bucked and swayed into a sudden ascent, it seemed clear something had gone wrong.
A strange calm settled into my belly. Three thoughts came quickly, but without fear.
“I love my Mom and Dad and I’m glad they know it.”
“If I have to die, at least I’m listening to my favorite Fleetwood Mac album.” (You’d think it would be Rumours, but it was actually the 1997 reunion album The Dance featuring the heavenly University of Southern California Marching Band.)
The guy behind me said to his seatmate, ‘It wasn’t pretty, but it never is. We landed safe. That’s all that matters.’
“I don’t have children or a husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or partner of unspecified gender identification and I’m glad I won’t leave anyone bereaved in those particular ways. It’s a bummer to lose your mom or your ladyfriend.”
We struggled back into the air with some rather dramatic, stomach-churning dips and bobbles. During one particular jolt, a few adults said, “Oh my God!” in unison. One woman said, “What the hell?” and then immediately apologized for cussing (this was, after all, a flight that originated in Charleston). Her seatmate, a stranger, held her hand and told her it was OK and he didn’t know what the hell was going on, either.
Whether or not the pilot was actually struggling to gain control of his craft, it felt like he was having a hard time. And due to the lack of communication, we had no way of knowing what was actually going on. (In retrospect I’m glad he focused on his job rather than on our feelings.)
I looked at my seatmate to check on her. Sometimes if I’m sad or scared it helps me to help somebody else feel better. I call it “selfish benevolence”. She seemed cool as a cucumber. I realized I was in the presence of a genteel badass. The south is full of these women. I considered asking for her email but in the south and elsewhere it’s generally considered poor form to hit on somebody as you both face potential death.
After about 20 minutes, we landed. And everything was fine. The pilot said, “Sorry folks – we came in too close for a landing and had to go around.” It seemed like a reasonable explanation. I accepted it. I also accepted that if there were other reasons, I would never know them.
As we taxied down the runway, the guy behind me said to his seatmate, “It wasn’t pretty, but it never is. We landed safe. That’s all that matters.” He turned out to be an off-duty pilot.
In the terminal, I texted my younger brother. He was sympathetic for exactly 90 seconds. Then our inherited affection for gallows humor took over (my mother correctly pins this on my father; I’d expand it to include the Irish diaspora and its descendants in general). My brother said, “What if it did crash and you’re a ghost now and you don’t know it yet?”
“I guess I could haunt the sushi bar,” I said. “People love it there.” O’Hare and Denver share the distinction of having some actually well-reviewed airport restaurants on site.
There was no time to reflect; I had to catch a connecting flight. Had to keep moving. Had to get to where I was going: Los Angeles, city of dreams and guys with thriving life-coaching practices.
I jogged to the plane, the last one to board. In my seat, I had a moment to breathe.
“Well, that happened,” I said.
The plane took off. We landed in Los Angeles without a hitch. And I went home to my neighborhood, with its palm trees and pretty little old houses and rich folks and homeless folks and everyone in between, the renters and the buyers and the stars and the nobodies like me. And it wasn’t until I was in bed that night that I realized I hadn’t panicked.
Small victories. I take them whenever I can.
Story retrieved from The Guardian
HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES FOR ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
Holiday time ,
A time we have been looking forward to since school started! Blink and share this post if you can relate!
I am a big pro-balance , i believe in late nights, early mornings and coffee but i also believe it is essential to lay back in the Bahamas and have someone bring you a Cool Mojito . So what do you do when you have a month or two of rest. Read On.
A bit Clichè right? But how many of us actually rest at least half of the time during the holiday?
While it is sometimes inevitable to reply that email, Attend that client, making time to take care of you, catch up on your favourite tv show or just sitting and breathing helps clear your brain and make you even more productive.
2. Learn a skill.
What a time to be Alive! Your next skill is literaly a few taps away. This skill can be a hobby you have been looking to get better at like sewing, singing, piano , cooking or something intergral in your career like history taking for new clinical rotation students or something you have wanted to do on the side( you have been talking about how you do not have time, and now Its here! ).
One of the founders of Afyatoon , an animation start-up that provides health education actually learnt how to animate during his summer holiday.
There are some things that are not taught in school and you are probably struggling with such as speaking in public , budgeting , dressing well, healthy living & more. Take time to train yourself on that.
3. Work on your side hustle
Balancing between studies and work is a challenge. Sometimes they are all demanding our time and energy. The holiday time therefore is a great time to focus on this thing , give it a mega push and this push will even save you the hustle when school starts.
4. Learn, explore and grow.
It is really eye-opening to learn a new thing or get to understand a certain topic . This can be a great time to do that. There is vast majority of knowledge and information on blogs, social media and in the actual world for you to learn .
Be curious, google , check out some you tube videos . But most of Enjoy your holiday .
What are you doing this holiday?
Twentiesco consultation doors are open! Book your consulation today and lets walk this adulthood journey together.
LOSING MY REPUTATION TO AN ADDICTION;LESSONS IN MY TWENTIES
You know the saying it takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it, the sad truth about this is it is TRUE.
What if I told you am a doctor well-loved by my patients, have saved lives several times. The first image you will have of me is a well-rounded and respectable man. Well that was me a few years ago. I was the man. I did everything right, straight As, focused, well-mannered. Everyone who knew me wanted to carry me around like a trophy. Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have practically no friends, colleagues barely answer my calls, but it wasn’t always like that, a decade ago.
One of the most important lessons you will learn in your twenties is we all have our demons. Some it’s an ex who wronged us, others its sex, mine well was alcohol and an ex of course. For most of us, our proper relationships begin at our late teenage years and twenties.
I met a lady a few years back and unlike the fairy tales,It did not last. Alcohol was my demon and I turned to it as a coping mechanism. I drank so much when my relationship crumbled, I lost a lot of friends and let family members down.
In one year my reputation changed from a hardworking guy to an alcoholic failure. The thing is bad reputations stick more than good ones, I haven’t touched a drink in more than two years, but I still get labeled as such.
Am turned 30 this year, I feel like my twenties have flown by so fast and, yet I have changed and grown a lot. I have had my share of bad days, weeks and months and am I yet to have more. I am aware that I need to develop my coping skills and speak or deal with what bothers me instead of finding unhealthy and destructive coping mechanisms.
So, here’s my take from it all.
Mistakes are a significant part of our twenties and a better off made NOW. There are less people that might be affected by you deciding to use all your money betting on Croatia for a good number of us.
In your twenties learn to reach out to a falling friend. So many times, we see friends failing and we never say a word. Speaking to our circle of support in times of highs and obviously takes a big load of our minds and theirs too.
Success might take twenty years to achieve, don’t feel outdone. Social media is like a highlight reel of or lives. We are not seeing a great deal of the backstage to which we compare ours with.
Another thing is your reputation will NEVER recover, but its alright. People will give you a second chance, they will support you, but will remind you of your faults, Accept your faults learn what happened has happened.
So, what should you do? Simple, wear your flaws and do not be ashamed of your struggles. Do not try to convince people your flaws aren’t a part of you. Life gets easier when you are open, it might seem tough, but you will cope.
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