Category Archives: LIFESTYLE


If you are anything like me and spend months thinking of the perfect gift for your people and sometimes it hits you that you have very few hours left, here are gift ideas for this years Valentines day both last minute and early.
Seriously what’s better than being present. Like actually present?

Check our fun date ideas

1.Cooking utensils.
If you know someone with a cooking hobby .. Then you should definitely consider gifting them with some kitchen appliances and supplies.
Now i know every hobbist..has something they want to enjoy more..
Perhaps its more jars of spices
New sports shoes
Sketching pencils
A music player
Sport gloves
A computer package subscription
And so on
2. Workout outfits and equipment.

I know people who are workout aholics and would enjoy nothing more than a new equipment.
Or some who are just getting into it and would love some equipments.
We love this lon

g resistance bands from Boosta on Instagram.

3.Home repair tools.
One of the hardest people to find gifts for are men

Instead of gifting them with ties and watches every year . Consider getting them some equipment to assist them in manly duties like fixing stuff.. Because there is always something to be fixed around the house.

And a bottle of wine or shampagne please 🙂
5.Manicure and Pedicure kit.
If you do your own manicure and pedicure.. You probably know that excitement of getting a new nail polish . If you didn’t, now you do.
Thank us later. Get your mom/girlfriend/sister/any female some nail polish and nail care thangs.
We love Lavy Nail polish. And if they don’t do theirown manicure and pedicure then we suggest Lavy mobile clinic.
6. Self care Kit.
Because self care is lit. Some body scrub, body brush, cleanser, lotion and cologne.

Other suggestions

8.Cooked food
Recipes from Olivia

z pot

Cooking classes and food services

10.Potted plants
11.A Book(s)
12. An item of their craft or yours.
What do you think?
What are other gifts that you can give someone pretty much in the last minute,share your thoughts in the comments and we’d love to hear what you have in mind

Here are some guides on what to do for valentines day

Fun Date ideas

Types of love languages



It’s been a minute since i wrote a year ending post.Only that a whole year has passed…

A whole year..

Okay the year isn’t over so its like 12 days to go but heyyy!!

2017 came and is leaving with the speed of light.

Its that time of the year where everyone starts talking about “new year new me”, “Hey 2017 thank you for the lessons, 2018 I’m ready” and all the other stuff we post..

As we are going to see and post plenty of that stuff on facebook, instagram and twitter.

(Tag us when you do)

We might as well take time to evaluate our goals/resolutions for 2017 and reflect on how far we have come, what unexpected stumbles we have encountered and what is the way forward to 2018 as we keep on being the adults we want to be and working on ourselves.


I had never written resolutions and goals for new year until 2016 .I wrote my goals for the first time that year.

Because i had just gotten a new notebook 🙂 .Being the writer that i am i wrote my goals on the very first page of that notebook. All sorts of them.

By the end of 2016 i had achieved like 3 of them..Out of 10 or 12 .I updated the list twice . In August 2016 and during new year festival in 2017 .

My goals were focused on personal development both like becoming more emotionally strong , learning French or Spanish (I just know basics ) , physical development because #fitislit and obesity increases your risk for lifestyle diseases . Enzemat lets you know where healthwise you are at and what you need to do.

I also wanted to actually do things i wanted to do and finish what I started and bettering my skills (crafting, writing and medicine)

Improving my relationship with God by improving my relationship with myself and others as well as building consistency in prayer and Bible reading.

I was so good at it in those first days.. Then i forgot about the notebook and went back to my old ways. However whenever I came across that notebook i’d do something to get closer to my goals.

Looking back;

I have amazed my self in some (like finishing my book and stealing a page in a newspaper as well as in personal growth )

Some goals are still wondering if we should really be together.. Giving me a constant look like

Evaluating goals

I’ll tell you one thing that has been pulling me back though.. Or rather what i use to not slay my life as i planned.

  1. Lack of Consistency

Also known as not wanting it bad enough. Consistency is married to Procrastination ..also known as I’ll do it when time is almost over (Hello deadliners😁😁)

This is what my exercise routine is like

Monday:Really excited goes out to jog.. Or uses Daily workouts(Get the app from playstore)

Tuesday:Sore legs from Yesterday’s jog/whatever exercise i did

Wednesday :I have Sore legs remember

Thursday:We all know I have sore legs.. They need a break for as long as 2 weeks.

Two weeks later :I need to exercise

And on and on goes my vicious cycle .

The down side of being a deadliner is that sometimes you have no deadlines. The only thing you have to do is set your self deadlines and beat them. To do this, you need Self discipline .Cultivating a habit of self discipline is a goal I am taking to 2018 .Its probably the only sword to kill Procrastination and Lack of consistency.

And again i am going to update my 2017 list. And probably make a vision board and Draw my life.

As we March towards 2018 ,may we become more stronger and compassionate with each other. May we keep on working on ourselves and in the process inspire each other towards Change and Improvement. May we Keep smiling at the confusion as we enjoy every moment of our lives.

Here to the achievements, lessons and all the gifts from 2017.

And here is to more of that in 2018.

Happy New year Twentiz.

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement and love .



How To Make The Most Of Your Twenties

By Sam Brown 

I know I’ve titled this blog post 20 Ways To Make The Most Of Your Twenties, but what I probably should have called it is 20 Things I’m Trying To Do To Make The Most Of My Twenties (it just didn’t have the same ring to it).

The list in this blog post isn’t prescriptive or even a list of the things that have worked for me – I honestly don’t exactly know how to make the most of my twenties (plus I’m still only 26!). But I thought it might be helpful to share how I’m trying to make the most of my twenties. So here we are!

It might be the case that your twenties haven’t shaped up the way you’d hoped they would. Or you’re scared you’ll waste or misuse the years that lay ahead of you.

My hope here is only that I inspire you to think about how you’re going to make the most of your twenties, by sharing how I’m trying to do exactly the same thing (and just so you know, you can also follow my personal growth journey on my daily vlog .

Blog posts like these are great for inspiration but completely useless if you don’t end up applying them! So my recommendation is simple. After reading this blog post, pick one of the things I mention in this list and begin to apply it to your life.

Don’t feel you have to figure out the ‘best’ thing to work on or the perfect place to start. Just choose something (anything!) and apply it. I don’t want you to procrastinate on making the most of your twenties!

Ok, now that’s out of the way, here’s what I’m working on to make the most of my twenties:


Investing in myself has become one of my biggest priorities. Over the last year I’ve hired a business coach, enrolled in an amazing personal development training program and worked with a personal trainer (as well as other things like buying healthy food, paying for a gym membership and buying lots of books). All of these things cost money. And until recently I’d been hesitant to invest money in my health, mindset and personal growth (even though that sounds like such an amazing, intelligent thing to do).

I think my hesitation was due to a mix of a few things, which I’ve only been able to see with the benefit of hindsight.

One of those things was fear – fear I’d invest my money and it wouldn’t work and fear of wasted time and wasted effort. Basically, I was scared that I’d try my best but it wouldn’t be good enough. I was also scared of judgement – of being seen to be putting a lot of effort into my life and it not working. That might sound silly, but I know so many of you know how real these fears can feel!

Another one of those things was that I greatly underestimated how powerful it is to have dedicated people (and resources) to help me work towards my goals – and figure out what the hell they even are! It’s not that I couldn’t have figured out a lot of it by myself but that having people there to guide me accelerated EVERYTHING. Also, because I was paying money for their help, I was much more committed and dedicated than when I was working solo. And that made a huge difference too!

We live in a society that questions money spent on personal growth and improvement but doesn’t bat an eyelid if we were to spend that same money on junk we’ll never even use. So I know I’m not the only one that’s been scared to invest in myself and underestimated how powerful it is, but I’m SO glad that I gave it a chance!


I’ve read enough self-help books to know that I shouldn’t do things (or avoid doing things) out of fear – fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, fear of judgement (which are just a few of my faves). But it’s one thing to know it and another thing to actually do it, so this is something I’m still very much in the process of learning!

I wanted to quit my full-time job for blogging a LONG time before I actually did. And the reason I waited so long was because I was completely and utterly terrified (you can read the full story here if you’d like). I was so scared to do it that I didn’t even let quitting my job be a real option – I kept my blog small so I had an excuse not to do it. Funny the way the mind works – I wanted it so bad and I was the one stopping myself from doing it!

This year, I’ve finally started to do things from a place of courage. Which doesn’t mean the fears have gone away. They’re still all there, I can assure you! I’ve just learned to ignore them. I’ve learned to feel the fear and do it anyway. And the amount of personal growth and satisfaction that has come from doing that has been incredible.

I’m still working on stopping all fear-based decision making (and still have quite a long way to go) but I definitely feel like I’m taking steps forward. And I know for sure that this will help me make the most of my twenties!


Something I’m really working on at the moment is carving out downtime and relaxation, and actually enjoying it!

I’m the kind of person that LOVES to feel productive (which mainly comes from self-doubt, by the way – the reason I want to be productive is because I think that by doing more and achieving more I’ll feel like I’m worth more) so I’ve always struggled to truly enjoy downtime.

But it’s not like I didn’t ever have it! I got it in the form of procrastination (which is NOT energising at all). And I also did have proper downtime, but I’d spend the whole thing telling myself that I should be doing something more productive (which is also draining AF).

When my favourite thing to do in my spare time became a ‘job’, I knew that the only way to stay sane would be to actively carve out downtime – especially since I’m working from home and it’s so easy to work at anytime of the day (and there’s always something I want to do). I’ve decided that, for me, Friday is my rest day. No blogging whatsoever, even if there’s something urgent that I need to do and I have absolutely no plans and I’m bored out of my brains!

And so far, this has been working incredibly well. Not only does it force me to be more productive during the week (because I know that I’m not going to be able to do anything on Friday). In my mind, it is not an option to do any blogging on Friday whatsoever, so I’m not constantly telling myself that I should be working on something. Which means I actually get to rest and recover. Which means I’m much more productive when I’m working the following week, because I’ve actually given my brain a break!

This might all sound really obvious to some. It was obvious to me too – I just never actually did it (except for the summer a few years ago when I went to the beach every weekend). Still a work in progress but it’s helping me keep my sanity and reach my goals too!


One thing I’ve been practicing is saying no to things I don’t want to do so I can say yes to the things I do. As a chronic people pleaser, I’ve been notoriously bad at this in the past – always trying to put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own (so nobody would judge or disapprove of me).

I’m learning that saying no to others doesn’t make me a bad person, especially when it’s coming from a place of self-love and self-care. At the end of the day, I’m going to have more to give to other people when I’m taking care of myself. But besides that, it’s important to look after myself – even if no one else benefits!

Something that’s really helped me to say no (when saying yes would come from a place of fear and obligation) is reminding myself of the opportunity cost. I often find that when I say yes to other people I forget that it could mean saying no to something that’s important to me. So I try my best to ask myself: ‘if I say yes to this, what does that mean I’m saying no to?’

And part of learning to say no is being willing to disappoint people. After a lifetime of people pleasing, I’ve helped people to create an expectation that I will put their needs and requests ahead of my own. So in making myself a priority (finally!) it means I’m going to sometimes disappoint these people. And I’m starting to make peace with that.


know that the present is all there ever is, so I’d better learn to enjoy it, but it’s so hard! I often find myself either living in the past or living in the future – analysing events that already gone or worrying about things that may (but probably won’t) come.

Though there has been one thing I’ve started doing recently that has helped though. Whenever I go for a walk outside, either in the streets around my house (I live in the suburbs) or when I’m in the city, I try to make an effort to really look at everything. If there’s a house, I try to find the front door. I look at all the features, the colours. And I was AMAZED when I started doing this. I’d walked past certain houses dozens if not hundreds of times and yet never really seen them.

Doing this whenever I remembered helped to train me to look at what was actually around me and be more in the moment. And this skill started to seep into the other areas of my life.

The other thing I try to do (but often fail at!) is not filming everything for snapchat or insta stories because I don’t want to see my whole life through the screen of my iPhone. I never film fireworks or concerts (plus they never look good, I’ll never re-watch them and no one else wants to see those videos anyway!). But there are other moments that probably would make good footage that I don’t try to capture so I can actually live it.


It’s great to look forward to things and to be future-focused in your twenties. But I’m doing my best to remind myself not to fall into the trap (that I’ve fallen into many times before!) of thinking that my life will be better when I finally achieve my goals.

I constantly try to remind myself that, when I achieve all the things I’m working so hard towards towards, I probably won’t feel that different to the way I feel today. And that’s not meant to sound depressing! Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Feeling amazing about my life is available to me today. And if I don’t learn how to love my life today, I likely won’t love it in the future either – even if I get everything I want. Here’s why:

If you’re anything like me, by the time you achieve a goal, you’ve already got your sights set on the next one. So when you actually achieve it, it doesn’t even feel that good because you’ve mentally moved on! That means that relying on the achievement of a future goal will only lead me to constant dissatisfaction unless I know how to appreciate it what I have, because there will always be something that I want in the future!

So why bother working so hard towards our goals if we can feel amazing without achieving them? Because I want to grow. Because I want to be challenged. Because I want to be creative.

One way I practice this is by coming up with three good things about every single day, even if it wasn’t the best (I share exactly what I do here). Another way I practice this is by making time each day to work on my mindset – since this is what’s going to help me feel better about the life I have today. And another way is to actually celebrate achieving my goals when it happens. Groundbreaking, I know. But I’m still not amazing at it!

If this all sounds very weird to you, I definitely recommend listening to this podcast episode from The Life Coach School podcast – this is where I really learned this from and it’s been having a huge impact on my life!


I mentioned before that I’m the kind of person that wants to feel productive all the time. But it’s easy to get productivity confused with busywork. I used to spend a lot of time blogging and a lot of time studying (I finished my law degree and finance degree in 2015) thinking that I was being productive. But I wasn’t.

I was usually either procrastinating (but sitting at my desk while doing it, so I didn’t feel as bad). Or I was doing busywork – re-editing a blog post that was already good enough, fussing over formatting that nobody would notice, making my uni notes pretty instead of learning them and making perfect plans for all the things I was never going to actually do.

I did busywork because I was scared of failure and the judgement that would come with it. I focused on the unimportant so I wouldn’t have time for the things that would truly make a difference. Which meant that if I didn’t succeed, the sting wouldn’t be as bad because I’d know I hadn’t tried my hardest. I failed on purpose so I didn’t gather any more evidence that my best wasn’t good enough. But continued to feel dissatisfied with my life because I wasn’t doing anything to make progress (self-sabotage is a horrible place to be, as you might know).

Now I focus on meaningful output, I hit publish as soon as something’s good enough (instead of waiting for it to be perfect) and I’m learning to be ok with letting things go that won’t truly make a difference. But it takes practice. And practice makes progress.


Growth comes from discomfort, which is a reality I’ve always found myself wanting to avoid. But when I have leaned into discomfort (i.e. felt the fear and done it anyway, which I talked about earlier) I’ve felt my whole world expand beyond belief.

Every life-changing experience and important friendship I’ve ever had has come from doing things I’d rather not do: talk to people I don’t already know, go places I haven’t already been, meet people I haven’t already met (I’m an introvert, can you tell haha), experience things I haven’t already experienced.

I’ve learned that every time I even try to put my little toe outside of my comfort zone, my brain completely freaks out and will try to convince me to stay in the world I already know.

Which means I’ve learned that my brain freaking out isn’t a sign I shouldn’t do something (unless it’s accompanied by a gut feeling that I shouldn’t) and that it’s not helpful to wait for the freakout to stop – because it won’t! So the only way to create life-changing moments and important friendships is to be willing to feel really, really uncomfortable.


This follows on from the last one, but I wanted to make it it’s own thing because I feel like it’s so important! I’m not the kind of person that always needs a friend by my side to do things – I’ll happily try a new fitness class (and then join up) by myself, I have no issues eating alone in public (even without my iPhone) and I’ll go to a party where I barely know anyone (though I really do have to force myself with that one haha). And I really feel as though this has seriously helped me make the most of my twenties!


It’s incredibly easy to blame the government, the job market, the internet, technology, my parents and my teachers for the life I’m living today. I have no doubt that I could always find someone to blame for the actions I do and don’t take and the experiences I do and don’t have. And it would feel so good too, because if I’m pointing the finger at everyone else it means it’s not pointing at me!

The only issue is that, while it feels good, it means I can’t change anything. By believing that everyone (but me) has created me life, I’m also believing that everyone (but me) can change it.

I’m not perfect and I’m definitely still guilty of playing the victim every now and again (ok, probably more often than every now and again). But I’ve been working so hard to take responsibility for my life – for the actions I do and don’t take and the experiences I do and don’t have.

Also I just want to note here that it doesn’t matter whose ‘fault’ it is or whether someone really did do something that had a negative impact on my life (though this is almost always up to my own interpretation). As long as I’m blaming, I’m keeping myself stuck. Taking responsibility isn’t about taking blame. It’s about taking control. And I feel like that just has to be part of making the most of my twenties!


This is an idea I heard from Tony Robbins and it’s made such a HUGE difference! Basically the idea is that, if you want to do something, you need to turn it from something you should do into something you must do. Sometimes things turn from should to must pretty easily – there’s a life-threatening diagnosis or a rock-bottom moment that gives us clarity we need to elevate our goal to being non-negotiable. But more often than not, things don’t change from should to must until we decide to change them!

Earlier in my twenties, this is something I really struggled with! There were lots of things I wanted to do and hoped I’d do and felt I should do but I never made them a must do (like healthy eating, waking up early, exercise – to name just a few). And because I made them negotiable, they rarely happened!

In the last year I’ve done a lot of work on making the things I want to do a must (and getting a lot better at it too!). I made my weekly blog post a must. I made working out 5 times per week a must. I made filming my daily vlog series a must. And they always happen (99% of the time, I’m still human haha). And I did this by changing my self-talk, the types of questions I ask myself and also using determined language around that subject. To find out more about this, watch the video that I watched here.


I’m not a big believer in work-life balance. I feel like (a) making it so binary doesn’t really help and (b) there are better questions to ask – like how we can achieve satisfaction in both our work and in our personal lives, rather than how to ‘balance’ them.

Anyway, work and fun (slash doing the things we love doing) are both important to me. We all have our different preferences and I will have different preferences to you (btw working 5 days a week was created for commercial convenience, not because that’s what will always work best) but making time for both is something I really want to do.

I’ve started to realise that to do this, I need to actually plan for both – rather than planning for the work and hoping the fun will happen in between. Still definitely working on this (like everything in this list haha) but I feel like I’m getting better at it and it’ll help me make the most of my twenties!


I feel like ‘start before you feel ready’ is one of those pieces of advice I heard all the time and LOVED the idea of, but never actually wanted to do! What I wanted to do was come up with the perfect plan so I was guaranteed to succeed and wait for the perfect time so, again, I was guaranteed to succeed. Little did I know this tendency to procrastinate (wait until I had the perfect plan and it was the perfect time) was actually fear of failure, which was actually fear of judgement and shame.

But this year I’ve started to live this, by quitting my full-time job for blogging before I felt ready. I’m so damn proud of myself for doing that and hope there will be many more examples to come!


If you’ve ever had someone be unsupportive of your dreams, you’ll have probably realised that it’s not a great experience – even if they were ‘right’. I always do my very best to keep my judgements about other people’s dreams to myself (or not have them at all). Like any other person, I want to protect those around me from pain. But that’s not my job. And me being unsupportive isn’t going to serve anyone but myself (and is likely me just justifying the limitations I’ve created for myself). If they succeed, amazing! And if they don’t, they’ll grow. Me being supportive will help them with both.


I could talk on this topic for days, so I’ll try not to go overboard. But the moment I realised I couldn’t rely on motivation, and it was a waste of time even trying, was a truly life-changing moment for me. I spent years trying to figure out how to stay motivated. YEARS! In fact, I spent basically my whole teenage and adult life until my a couple of years ago trying find the answer – only to realise I’d been searching in the wrong place!

Motivation feels amazing. And when I have it, I do my best to keep it. But instead of focusing my time and energy on keeping my motivation topped up (and feeling helpless to my actions when it’s not), I focus my time and energy on strengthening integrity, self-discipline and willpower (which are all the same thing in my book). I focus my time and energy on making plans and following through with them, regardless of whether I feel like it when the time comes to do it. And it’s made ALL the difference for me (which is why I even made an online course about how I do it). If you want to know a little more about my process, definitely read this blog post!


Seeking out inspirations is something I feel like we all do quite naturally, but I still wanted to include this because it’s been SO incredibly important for making the most of my twenties!

This takes a different form for everyone and thanks to the internet, we have so many to choose from! My favourite way to find inspiration is by listening to podcast interviews (god I love podcasts!) of incredible women and men who have followed their dreams despite the fear and self-doubt and impracticality and naysers and setbacks and obstacles.

Hearing how other people have dealt with the emotional rollercoaster of figuring out what to do with their life (whether they’re in my industry or not) has kept me inspired when I’ve found myself feeling disheartened and have been faced with near crippling self-doubt. I share my favourite podcasts in this blog post if you’re interested in seeing who I listen to!


Following your intuition is a three step process: hearing it, trusting it and acting upon it. I find it fairly easy to hear my intuition. What’s harder is trusting it and acting upon it, especially when what my intuition is saying seems impractical, improbable, daring and challenging to justify to others. But I’m getting SO much better at it!

My intuition won’t always be ‘right’, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I’m developing my own wisdom. And I’m living my life, courageously, for me.


Fear of failure isn’t really fear of failure, it’s fear of the shame. Fear of shame (which is what perfectionism really is) is a fear that has stopped me from pursuing many incredible learning experiences in life to date. So I’ve spent a lot of time and energy over the last year working to move myself from a fixed mindset (believing that my success is based on my innate abilities and therefore that every failure is a reflection of my basic abilities and who I am as a person) to a growth mindset (believing that my success is based on hard work, learning, training and therefore that every failure is only a reflection that I need to learn more).

I’ve done this by creating effort-based goals (to move my focus away from results and onto the process and changing my self-talk and expectations around new experiences (as well as what I make them mean about me as a person). If you’re not sure whether you have a fixed or growth mindset, you can take this quiz I found online. And if you’re interested in learning more about how to truly embrace failure as a learning experience (instead of trying to avoid failure by only doing things you’re good at) I highly recommend watching this talk by Dr Carol Dweck and reading her book Mindset.


Besides my final point, I think being willing to be vulnerable (even though it’s so goddamn hard!) is one of the things that’s had the most profound impact on my life. If you’re already familiar with Brene Brown’s work and TED Talk about the power of vulnerability  (if not, please leave this blog post immediately and watch it), you know that vulnerability is what creates truly meaningful connection. Being vulnerable and open about the thoughts and experiences I feel ashamed of having is what has helped me face (and remove) many of the limiting beliefs that were holding me back, forge true friendships and connect with you.

Letting my walls down is INCREDIBLY hard because shame is such a strong emotion and one I work incredibly hard to avoid (without realising it)! But it gets a tiny bit easier every time I do it. Every time I see that sharing what’s really going takes a burden off my shoulders, helps others realise they’re not alone and lets me move forward. Being vulnerable creates true human connection and true human growth, and what’s my twenties all about if not that?!


All of the messiness and uncertainty and confusion and stumbling around that I’ve talked about in this blog post is all part of making the most of my twenties. This isn’t something I’m trying to avoid, but to embrace. Because this is what life’s all about!

I don’t need to be there already. I don’t need to have figured it all out. I’m not behind. Nothing’s gone wrong. In fact, everything has gone so wonderfully right – I am here, I am learning, I am living, I am loving.

Sam xx

P.S. If you’d like to follow me as I keep trying to figure out how to make the most of my twenties – you can watch my daily vlog series 365 Days of Personal Growth here!

This post first appeared on smarttwenties blog



​                Being a global citizen in the 21st century is a privilege and a piece of cake. People are connected to each other, giving and receiving information within a click of a second on the palms of their hands.  The growth of science and technology has been of a very big impact in today’s society especially to growing teens and tweens like me and you. It was just last week, I was talking to a good friend who happens to study oversees via whatsapp call, and after a very long nice conversation I began to think, waoh!! Technology makes the world “flat”, I mean its amazing right?. The growth of social medias has taken connection to a whole new level, making life as simplified as unfriending someone on facebook, just a click of a button and voila!! We are not friends anymore. 

            Never the less, technology has it’s pros and cons. Probably there is more isolation than connection. Have you ever been in a family reunion or party where everyone seems to be praying to a “god” who won’t talk back, thanking him for the communionship but you realize it’s their phones they are busy with?. That is what I’m talking about, technology has created more of “I’s” than “We’s” , technology has brought more of “self-ies”, technology has brought more isolation than connection. While we’re busy chatting with multiple strangers in the internet, technology is denying us the opportunity to make real conversations and connections. I have come to realize most people who look to be “intimate” on social media are “boring” in real life. We can not communicate and hold real conversations anymore. It has become my biggest concern that the 21st tweens can not seat and hold conversations, I mean who approaches a girl in real life anymore? (you’re smiling right), these small things called phones have replaced “I love you” to “I luv u” and someone out there thinks there is no difference between the two. We are not able to make real friends, real relationships all because they look too good in the internet and where are lazy to replenish them in real life. 

                    Well, may I get my self clearly understood, I’m not saying technology is bad or it should somehow be abandoned. All I’m saying is technology should not take us away from the reality of life, it should not deny us the opportunity of eating a healthy meal like we used to always do in the past, everyone at the table listening and talking to real people about real things instead of holding our phones under the table up-to dating our statuses to “having dinner with fam”, what family are you talking about?. 

Does social media create more isolation? Don’t stand on the fence, feel free to tell me what you think 

May the transformation forces be with you 




I googled the effects of Pornography . After I had written “the effects of” , nicotine,heroine and cocaine were among the suggestions.
Google knows that 1 out of 4 internet searches are porn related and it’s here suggesting cocaine. Let’s leave this 19 year old aside.
Before we debate on  whether Pornography watching is right or wrong. Let’s see what Pornography watching and Masturbation have to offer.
1.Relieves sexual tension
This is the basic idea behind the two. Masturbating releases this tension and has kept most young and old people going for long without sex. An avarage man masturbates 4 times a week and it’s the nearly half  for girls.

The numbers are going higher because there is sexual content everywhere these days . The songs are sexual
The movies are extremely sexual
To top that up with social media and the fashion industry

Its hard to not think of it being sorrounded by all these sexual content
Oh even jokes are sexual
2.Disrupts intimacy in a relationship
The basis of any relationship is not sex . Relationships fulfill the human need to belong ,to love and to be loved .it is in this loving that each of the patners offers themselves to the  other partner  in different ways one of them being Sex. And so watching porn changes the way one sees a relationship from a support system to sex alone. Relationships get harder because no one knows what are relationship is without sex. And so one doesn’t reap all the benefits of being in a relationship.

Apart from this the image of other human beings becomes that of lust and sets standards that are unrealistic to real life.This creates a feeling of inadequacy and downlooking to the reality around .

fake orgasm.jpg

  1. May lead to Depression
    Pornography is not usually watched in the cinema.

It is the worst case of addiction because while cocaine and heroin addiction is group / gang bases. A Pornography addiction occurs in the dark and is the hardest to get out of.
This addiction may lead to Depression because whenever we have orgasms , we feel happy because of a chemical in our brain called Dopamine. Now if this was a relationship it means you would grow fonder of the person you are making love to. But in the case of Pornography and Masturbation, this Dopamine makes us grow fonder of Pornography and masturbation . And our brain becomes used to extremely high levels of Dopamine that our normal level seem too low and so we feel low as well.Persistence of these especially if it is a stress reliever may lead to Depression and anxiety.

porn depression

  1. Personal growth
    In the journey of self development, self discipline and love are very essential .This includes learning to focus your energy on REAL relationships and REAL connections . If you are looking to break free from Pornography Addiction, you need to monitor the sexual content you are exposing yourself to, identify patterns that have led you to that addiction and find a healthy solution to them and engage yourself in fruitful social activities. Falling back to the addiction should not be the end of the struggles. You should be determined to rise back again no matter how many times you fall.


Resist that Click . Live a meaningful life .

All the best.


That shoe is very Nice..
It would go well with this matching fringe top
Fringes look perfect with Ripped jeans ,let me get this jeans chocker like Kim Kardashian’s
A hat and a matching bag are lifeee😌😌..

What the hell am I doing ..I just came to pick a dress for Molly’s birthday.. For the fourth time ..
I’ll get a pair of shoes too and a glitter handbag ..
The neck area is so empty I need a necklace too oh and matching earrings and a bracelet


And On and on and on


Black Friday Crowd shopping

We are in an ever increasing rush to accumulate ,own and dump this for that.
Unfortunately we buy some of these things believing they will bring us Content and fulfilmen which they don’t and so we dump them . Inside our homes.

Our spaces get smaller and our need to own more grows bigger.
And we are still not as happy as we thought we’d be.
We spend years working hard to get to the next level.. only to realise that there is a next level after that and a next and a next
Then we die ..

If we are lucky enough to get to the top , We realise that it doesn’t bring us as much joy as we thought it would. 

We have lost years climbing that ladder and we didn’t get to enjoy the journey because we were so obsessed with the destination.

Sometimes we think that our worth as people is determined by what we can afford and own and so we are so focused on proving that we can accumulate stuff. We accumulate this stuff and still nothing changes in our lives.

I shall not lie and say that money , status and fame are nothing because they are something. They are a result of a bigger thing. A much more valuable thing than all of them combined, and that is Purpose.

Whatever we buy , whatever we work hard for should serve that purpose and keep us in alignment with it.

If it doesn’t,it is TRASH.

This is what Minimalism is all about.
The goal of Minimalism is to free you and me from the greedy materialistic mode to Purposefulness .There are no rules with Minimalism only that you let go what you dont need.

In doing this , you are also going to buy more quality things, save more , have more space and not spend so much time taking care of things that are not taking care of you. 

I am going to leave you with 3 challenges today
1.Let go of all the TRASH you have.
Go through your things and throw ,sell or donate whatever is no longer useful.

2.Live in the moment. Appreciate the place where you are right now as it is. Also appreciate all the challenges and freedom it comes with.


3.Ask yourself these 3 questions before you buy anything
i.Must I buy this?

ii.Do I already own something that compliments this or does what it does?

iii.What are the three occasions in the next three months that I will use/wear it


Till Next time.

Let me know if you have any questions or opinions in the comments below.

Subscribe to our blog by entering your email down below and if this article has been helpful as it was intended to be. Please share it. 


When you feel stressed to complete a certain task , that stress keeps you in alignment with the path you are on. This is good stress and is relieved after completing that particular task.

But then there is the kind of stress that doesn’t serve a purpose for you.It leaves you experiencing anxiety , disconnected and may even end up in depression or a panic attack.

There are times in your lives when something is at stake and you  are worried. Times like sickness of loved ones , financial and relationship issues ,failure in work or studies and so much more. While I’d love to sit here and tell you not to stress , i have been there and i know it wont work. Stressing is human . Stress is a signal .Therefore you should not end up at worrying. If stressing has

i.taken you to a dark place

ii. seems like it is going to or

iii.for the sake of knowledge

Here are ways to deal with stressing and avoiding or getting out of depression.

  1. Identify the origin of your worry  . This may be something that you are experiencing  at that time like failure or a long-term thing.  Make peace with your past. Some incidents may have damaged you, you need to acknowledge that they happened and that they hurt you and grow from them . Beware of your fears and traits and realize that they may also  be the cause of your stress.
  2. Identify your  power in this situation .Getting stuck at worrying isn’t healthy. See what you can do to deal with your stressor . If its a relationship crisis see if you can do something to make it work, or address your partner on some thing that can be done . Ask for a make up test and prepare for it so you don’t fail, ask for forgiveness, forgive . Do something to change the outcome of the situation you are in.
  3. Speak to someone APPROPRIATE . A friend preferably one who understands your situation and isn’t afraid of giving you honest advice . And sometimes that friend is God . So Pray.
  4. Build a great emotional support group. Do not get too immersed in the #hustleislife and forget on your need for human interaction . However big or powerful you may be.Develop a healthy emotional intelligence and a healthy routine ; this is 2017 , we know all work and no play makes you a dull person.
  5. Learn your lesson and move on
  6. Consider therapy. I come from a country  where we go to heal malaria, rashes, fever and physical wounds. We are keen on that. Our physical health but not so keen on our mental health. How many times have we been told to get over it and move on, we need to clean up messes in our lives. Clean up the mess after your broken relationship and family, then move on.You are not a Tsunami. The heart that gets broken today is the one that’s going to love to tomorrow. So make it ready again.when-ur-stressed-out-but-you-play-it-cool-9552786
  7. Do not self medicate and make an effort to stay addiction free

All the best


Till next time


Before I got in touch with the internet I used to stare at clothes, shoes, home decorations and all that in magazines (I still do) . When I was finally able to google something, I fell in love with eBay, I would stare at shoes and admire several of then the ask my younger sister for her opinion. After that I would choose two or one pair, add it to my cart and then chill FOREVER.

Funny I know

I didn’t  have a credit card at that time and even when I got one I did the same thing.

I would look at things online and admire them and add them to my cart, then remove them. I heard so many horror stories on online theft and fraud.  I wasn’t about to risk my credit card information just to get some shoe and yarn from eBay.

Here are three lifesavers for Online shopping

  1. Kikuu

Kikuu is an online shopping application that links African consumers to a wide range of products in China. Delivery and shipping are free. You only pay the amount you see on the APP which are relatively cheaper to all local and foreign platforms. It takes about 15 days to get the items to the consumer and it is delivered through their express company at no cost. Payment can be done by mobile transfer too.


Like the download of any other social or commercial application, please Visit either the Google Play store or Apple App Store and enter Kikuu in the search option. Then you download and register an account .

  1. Easy Buy Africa

I have only learnt about this recently

Easy buy Africa is a great online company that saves you the worry on shipping and picking up of your product. All you need to do is order your product (from the comfort of your own home or at their offices which has great Italian coffee by the way) and go pick it up at their office. It requires you to open a free account and pay a certain amount depending on what you are purchasing. The other good thing is you can pay in your local currency even using mobile transfer.

Such an awesome thing right?


  1. Pay pal

PayPal is for everyone who pays online. It is safe because your credit card details aren’t shared to whomever you are buying stuff from. It is simple because a very large percent of online shops accepts this payment method and so you only require a password to confirm buying something. This saves you from having to enter your bank details everywhere you shop. Another thing is pay pal checks to see if there is any mismatch in the transaction which makes it even more safer.

So, to open an active PayPal account you need to activate your credit card for e-commerce service. This means calling your Bank providers or visiting. Once you have done that you can now link your PayPal account to your credit card and shop WISELY (This is a topic for another day.)


What is your opinion on safe online shopping especially in Tanzania? Leave that in the comments below .

If this article had added some knowledge in any way feel free to share as much as you can( we deeply appreciate that)

Leave any questions below concerning online shopping as well as your email so you get notified when there is a new post.

Till next time, keep becoming the adults you want to be.


SITES YOU SHOULD VISIT….Once in a while.

Hello twenties,I’m sure you all had a great weekend,and so here’s another week and I thought you’d want to explore some new today I’d love to share with you some sites that I always take time to read,and that I think you buddies should read too.These sites contain a lot of information that you may not necessarily get on social media..

COSMOPOLITAN..well Cosmo is my all time favourite. This touches the areas of beauty,style as well as love.In here you’ll learn a lot about sex & relationships,beauty and so much to do with style too.I’m sure ladies we’ll be fond of this..with Cosmo you can get daily updates as much as you want!

FORBES …so those tech guys,entrepreneurs and investors.. This is your playground. Forbes is actually a global media company which focuses in investing, business, entrepreneurship as well as investing.. This is one great place to combine a taste of a well rounded smart person..Of course it may sound odd to you,but Forbes is a cool place to learn stuffs no one might tell you.
JUST A GUY THING..Men this is actually for it reads,”just a guy thing” ,it’s a site for men with lots of news,sports,style, technology, health, relationships and so many stuffs that any man could actually enjoy…. Check it out.

BUSINESS INSIDERFast growing business site with deep financial, media,technology and other industry  news,updated to meet the reader’s demands daily…All business tips are loaded in here.If you’re thinking of any startup, this could be the right platform to learn new ideas for your business…

VOGUE…. the latest fashion news,beauty coverage,celebrity style,fashion week updates,culture senses and many more are all found in Vogue.. So what else will you miss here..
So many other sites that I couldn’t mention them all,Pinterest , tumbler and so many others,,,so beloved  reader I hope you’ll leave a comment on other sites that you think we should know about….

Until then,have a prosperous week ……



Welcome dear twenties, you are exactly where you need to be; it is another day, quite a blue Monday.  Isn’t it? Honestly I don’t know what that means, but let’s get on with the real business.

This is the official site for special twenties like us, where we get our goals set, plan our future and get our moods up like how real twenties do out there.

Before I give you the UBUYU of today I have a question for you. Have you ever been so high such that you get feelings to fire your boss or slap your dad or piss in the military playground?  If you haven’t its fine and if you have that means nothing, I was just messing up with you.

I think we all know WAHENGA; I like these guys a lot, like really a lot. Such stylish grey hair on their heads and so much wisdom in it: isn’t it super cool?

So this weekend I met one, not that much of grey hair on him but wise enough to be one. I told him about my troubles and difficulties from last semester and all that. I also told him about those break ups I had with my girlfriend and troubles with my GPA.  Also about my decisions to leave aside sports and my blogging and put my entire mind to studies. You know the kind of heat here in MED school.

So I got something from him and found worth sharing. He told me “WHEN YOU DRINK TEA, DRINK TEA”, he added “all laws of physics and nature abide to this, if you follow this all your troubles will be put to an end”.MULTITASK2.jpg

I did put some thought to it and I think we don’t have to quit anything to do well in something we think to be of more importance to us. The key is concentration: drink tea, when you drink tea and enjoy your tea. For there will not be any other moment for tea, enjoy the moment. When it is time for prayer-make the most of it, when it is time for class-make sure you seize that time well, and when it is time for sports or club-make sure you entertain your mind and clear your mind, as for happiness heals your mind and restores your mind to its full function mode, like a factory reset for your phone.

So guys tell me in the comment box below what do you think this wise man was trying to tell me and how do you drink your tea.

And don’t forget to subscribe by putting your email down there so you can get notifications directly through mail.




Remember the day you hit 20 years old? You were excited about embarking the new adventures of adulthood and freedom. And there you go,” I can do this,do that and all is well” .But less did you know that your twenties were the days where you were going to encounter so many untold mysteries….and yes these are the years where you’re life should start having meaning…

I remember when I actually turned twenty ,I told myself “, this is my moment of freedom, choices,subsequent trying,learning etc….and yes I’ve made so many mistakes and actually learned from them,I’ve made choices that I’ll never regret,I keep learning everyday… to sum up everything I’m living my life…

So,if no one ever told you the few things to make your twenties and the rest of your life amazing….then I got you,and I’ll tell you.

 Be yourself, be you..  Do you know the joy and happiness you brought into the lives of those that gave life to you on Earth? It was for one reason,no one else in this world looks like you,no matter how many times they say you look like your siblings or mother,there’s so much difference in you versus the world,that only means dig out your inner qualities, strengths, abilities and even weaknesses, brace and embrace yourself…

 Change what you don’t like in your life.. Yes ,there’s absolutely nothing wrong in changing what does not please your eyes(and not the world).. It could be that saggy tummy,or rough hair,dry cracky uneven skin tone,bad behavior ,unhealthy relationships, or anything that doesn’t look nice to you at all..Change is inevitable after all,and so change to satisfy your desire and not someone’s….

Compete ONLY when its necessary…,  Sometimes we tend to let our  ego get the best of us,yes at some point we all did.Personally I’m not good at competing. I remember having told a friend that I don’t have competitors and he said,”then you have nothing”..(I always smile when I remember this) ..But I say ,I have everything (don’t take this serious though)… And since I don’t compete, all I do is outwork anyone acting as a rival!! So should you,its not like you’re always on marathon, so why should you compete….!?

Take responsibility of your actions.. You‘ve heard of karma right? Or simply what goes around comes around? It’s true,learn to be conscious of your acts.Apologize when you go wrong,forgive when you’re asked,commit when it’s time,take calculated risks,lead when you have to and follow when you have to.These simple rules will add so much taste in your life..Never leave anything unsolved, it will surely hunt you for as long as you live.

Love without boundaries… Tell me what do you loose by showing love and its gestures such as gratitude, kindness,understanding etc…Its time beloved  twenti you quit  the act of “I like you”.. and it’s time you love …Love your friends,family, nature,fauna and everything this universe has to offer, show that love, in ways that people will always remember you,love them as much as you would love yourself… When love becomes limitless, so does life!


Live your dreams..Are you that young man who wants to travel the world, and raise a great family? Or that woman who has always wanted to fly an aircraft then eventually go to space,and be that amazing wife any man could ever have..or maybe advocate for human rights,or be that one great journalist of the 21st Century….we all have dreams and so you…(yes ,you who is reading now); regardless of what your dreams are,start living them now,act like you’re an achiever, behave like that man or woman of your dreams…you’ll surely create a meaningful life and find your purpose a long the way..

So when you finish reading this,take a mirror and look at that image you see,ask yourself what makes you different? Is that what makes you great,or is that what makes you weak?…you are beautiful, you’re strong, wise and blessed beyond imagination…… Always remember the moon and sun shine at different times,always be you!!

Lots of love to you ,beloved reader of your twenties….

Lilian Bonus.


We all use WhatsApp on a daily basis,we tell out our stories,we express our feelings,say hello to family and friends and relate to everything we do.One may ask me why I chose WHATSAPP out of all networks? Simple! It contains emojis we use to add emphasis to what we say,in fact they help a great deal in expressing our inner feelings further…
Now let’s get on the boat together, how many times do you frequently use that one or two or more emojis?,ever asked yourself why do you use  it?…Emojis have become increasingly common among younger people to convey emotions within their text,with use of characters or images.

After having done a simple research by asking several people including those  on my contact list(those that I regulary chat with) to share with me ,the screenshots of their frequently used whatsApp emojis,,,What I learned was incredibly astonishing….. This is what I discovered which also highly applies to you as well…

Level of happiness..Did you know that happiness is merely a product of your own mind?Yes it is and often times you can’t hide it ,so you speak your mind.Most of the times you’ll use certain emojis to express your state of mind and that means if you’re always joyous you’ll use smiley faces etc…that goes along with sadness where as this group  use angry faces often times.Someone who’s sad cannot use smiley faces,or an emoji showing power!!!!….so if you’re not happy do this

Your hobbies….So you think you  don’t know what to do for fun?Go back to your frequently used whatsApp emojis,one of them has been telling you ,but  you might have not noticed ,it could be that ball you use,or the sports person you showcase or even those weapons you use…emojis play a great deal showing you all these.

Attitude……your feelings and the way you think towards someone or something are clearly expressed on your other faces, “emojis” ,they could tell whether you feel good or bad about things.This later becomes a habit and you eventually develop a personality… It may sound ridiculous but,a times you should develop curiosity as to why do you use certain emojis most of the times?

Question comes..”Do emojis imitate life,or does life imitate emojis?”

So drop your comment below .Don’t forget to share this post with other twenties and have a great day!!!!

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