At least once ,each one of us has experienced rejection . From someone you were looking to build a relationship with to be more precise.It can be particularly challenging,especially to individuals who desire a long lasting relationship .Individuals with lower self esteem may find rejection more painful and it may take time for them to recover .
Few months ago when I went for a part time job interview at Posta in Dar es Salaam,I met a childhood friend that I hadn’t seen for years .I asked her if we could have a girls day out, and that’s when she shared with me her sad rejection story. She’s been in love with a young man a year older than her; it all started out well but few months later the relationship ended coldly!
THE GOOD NEWS is that, regardless of the number of times you’ve been rejected by that one person whom you felt meant the whole universe to you, you can still bounce back.
With these five meaningful tips, you’ll be great again!
- Accept and embrace rejection positively .Being rejected by that significant other does not mean you do not have what it takes to deserve affection .This means you should accept the fact that someone else isn’t willing and ready to start a new journey with you .Having realized this will help you avoid several problems such as developing an inferiority complex and health problems that may be a result of prolonged stress.
- Communicate with someone you trust .They say feelings expressed are better off than those hidden .Take advantage of the people you trust ,and hear out what they have to tell you .That way you’ll have eased the burden by listening to their own personal stories .Believe me ,there’s something that will act as opium for that particular moment .
- Try new things every now and then .Ever imagined what your life could have been if you had never met that person? Marvelous! so how about you go back to all your unfinished businesses ;that sci-fi book you started ,the freelancing job you’ve always wanted ,all your favorite sports or that yummy sushi dish you always wanted to try cook. All these will help in your recovery and eventually gain momentum towards your goals.
- Love yourself intensively and extensively .Sometimes we tend to forget what’s really important to us and focus on what doesn’t really matter .NOT everyone you literally fall in love with brings the best in you, and that only means they drain all your energy .Use the rejection to develop better aspects of yourself, not for someone else but for yourself .Enhance your looks and above all maintain a healthy lifestyle.
- Have the courage to move on .Never try to ask why that other person rejected you or make them feel guilty, because they won’t, instead have faith in what is to come and that the best people in our lives could take years to show up.Finally, if you want something set it free, if it comes back it’s yours and if it doesn’t it never was.
What do you think is to be done when rejection hits you?
Leave a comment below. Till Next time , Keep it Twenty , Keep it real.Stay and read more posts on the blog. Is this post worth sharing ? Then do share , Click on the Whatsapp icon below to share .
HOW TO SPOT YOUR TYPE INSTANTLY
What kind of a patner do you want?
We often respond to this question by saying,
kind, self motivated , good looking , supportive and more.
When we however meet such people , we may not want them for us.
Sometimes you come to learn this so much later in a relationship.
This is because the things we mention are usually whats not whos.
They are what the patner is . Not who the patner is.
It is the whos that keep relationships not whats.
And to know who you want , you first should know who you are.
So how do yo know from the begining that this person is your type?
Here are three musts to check
1. CORE ESSENTIALS [things , you cannot tolerate . AT ALL.]
These things instantly tell you who is not for you.
Core essential are red flags that show you that he is against your core values. These are things you cannot trade.
These are not surface things like crooked eyebrows or disorganized teeth.
They are deep things like not being able to stand someone who takes pleasure in the suffering of others or someone who is judgemental and close minded. By knowing these are the things you cant stand, you also realise who you cant stand.
If you go into a relationship you will always feel irritated and mistreated. Because your core values which are who you are, are not harmonised.
These are things that actually cause conflicts and even break relationships.
Your opinion on these things is least likely to change over the next years
Both yours and theirs’
Do you want to get married? how soon?Is the feeling mutual?
Do you want kids , how many , how soon?
Is he/she thinking the same?
How close are you to you family? Do you like hanging around them too much?
If you are and your patner isn’t one of you will simply need to give in.
Are ready to be the one? Is he/she ready?
What is your opinion and outlook on sex.
Some want to wait , some do not.
Where do you stand?Are you willing to compromise?
Are you frugal(prefer to save as much money as you can) or generous?( a giver and spender)
If you are all opposites, you may work out but there will be issues and you should all be aware why such issues are arising.
If your religion is something that is a big part of who you are , then dating/ marrying someone outside your denomination might be as an issue.
Is it a challenge you are willing to face? Are you willing to compromise?
This is a question you should ask yourself for all these things.
If you are willing to compromise , its a green light. If you both aren’t , it is going to be an issue that will arise from time to time.
These are the whats .
So now you know how we rush to mention the least important things.
They are things like.
I want her to have a big Nyach
I want him to have a car
I want him to be tall
At the core of things like i want her to be independent. Is really I want a woman with whom i can share and not just support.
Its the same when ladies say they want a man with a car. They need a man who is self sufficient.
So it is not the car that they want , it is what brings the car to him & that is ambition and hardwork.
And for the case of Nyach.
Well,That is madness.
That is it twenties . Get to the core of yourselves and have a great time finding & keeping the love of your life.
Relatinship tips: 5 Things Everyone Needs in A Partner
Why do most relationships feel like fire at first and become so cold and blunt eventually?
They say soup tastes better when served hot, so should relationships end when the fire dies? And what can you do to reignite the fire?
Most of people agree that they lose interest in their crushes as soon as they get together. Many lack the drive to go on with a relationship and eventually end in a break up.
Here is a post cracking the mystery of this
Love is just a feeling mediated by chemicals released into the blood system to make your body go haywire. When a relationship is new, the levels of such chemical are literally touching the sky.
The same chemicals are released when you see your crush and also responsible for blushing.
Love is just like a reaction between a matchstick and the match. Now, to keep the candle burning
There are 5 things to check before getting deciding to be with someone
Find someone with these things and you will have the world at your feet, stars shining for you, birds singing for you, butterflies in the stomach and all of the myths about love stuffs will be a reality to you.
- You must be sexually attracted to them
If you can’t find your partner sexually attractive you will not be able to build a trustful relationship. The heat must be there.
How do you know if you have this: you get turned on by them with relative ease. You must think in any way that part of their physical aspect is attractive to you. It could be height/skin tone/dressing codes/eyes/lips/hair. A wise man once said “genitals don’t lie”.
Alert: if this is missing, you become lovers friends.
- Friendship compatibility (personality compatibility)
You need someone who won’t find you weird around them. You need someone you can easily talk /laugh with/joke/flirt , someone you enjoy their company.
How do you know if you have this: you don’t use a lot of energy to say hi! Things come automatically or with relative ease.
Alert: if this is missing you will always find one annoying.
- You must have things in common.
You must have non contrasting opinions on sensitive issues like religion/politics/sexuality and stuffs like that.
Also Read:>> HOW TO SPOT YOUR TYPE INSTANTLY
You need someone you agree in many things than you disagree. These will bind you together more than anything. Being fans of the same football team or having same taste in music is more romantic than anything because they connect you physically and emotionally to a way another level than romance and sex.
- They must be your intellectual equal
This doesn’t mean if you are a top ten student you should date a top ten student, No. Intelligence can be defined from many different angles. It could be interpersonal skills or creativity. It doesn’t have to be the same kind of intelligence. You need someone who can challenge you and push you to grow into a better version of yourself.
How do you know if this is missing: if you lack intellectual stimulation, then you will feel bored and unchallenged. You might even gradually lose respect for them because you don’t feel like you are with your equal.
- Willingness to commit
This is the most sensitive and needs to be understood clearly. It is a common knowledge that most men/boys are afraid to commit as compared to the opposite side. So when establishing any relationship whether it’s casual or a serious one, you need to make it very clear earlier to avoid being seen clingy and emotionally threaten your partner.
How do you know if you are too clingy: you text constantly/you get nervous when there is no answer/you follow him or her around/you stalk/you don’t trust him or her/you are moving too fast.
So if you are a commitment person, get a person who is ready to commit. Otherwise you will get emotionally tortured.
Can You Make It Work If You Don’t Have Any Three Of These Traits?
Of course. You can make almost any relationship work. It’s a matter of whether or not you want to and what your core values are.
If sex isn’t a huge part of your life, you don’t have to agree with the first point.
The important thing is to connect. So, if you find your own way of connecting and find passion in it, that’s unique and way more romantic.
I hope that this article gets you somewhere in your love life.
Dedicated to your success,
LAST MINUTE VALENTINE GIFT IDEAS THAT DON’T LOOK DESPERATE
Check our fun date ideas
2. Workout outfits and equipment.
g resistance bands from Boosta on Instagram.
One of the hardest people to find gifts for are men
Instead of gifting them with ties and watches every year . Consider getting them some equipment to assist them in manly duties like fixing stuff.. Because there is always something to be fixed around the house.
Here are some guides on what to do for valentines day
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