Connect with us

THOUGHTS

FIVE THINGS WE ALL DREAD HAPPENING

Published

on

President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted,

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”

I think he was right: Fear of fear probably causes more problems in our lives than fear itself.

Medical experts tell us that the anxious feeling we get when we’re afraid is a standardized biological reaction. It’s pretty much the same set of body signals, whether we’re afraid of getting bitten by a dog, getting turned down for a date, or getting our taxes audited.the thought of loosing someone or something you have had your whole life (or since you were 10) is a nightmare .yet we go through that all the time .fear like other emotions is basically information.it gives us knowledge and understanding on our physical and biological status.there are five basic fears from which all our fears arise from. Once you have learnt these you can then relate to all your fears.

  1. Extinction—the fear of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just calling it “fear of death.” The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
  2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
  3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it’s commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
  4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The “silent treatment,” when imposed by a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target.
  5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one’s constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

Think about the various common labels we put on our fears. Start with the easy ones: fear of heights or falling is basically the fear of extinction (possibly accompanied by significant mutilation, but that’s sort of secondary). Fear of failure? Read it as fear of ego-death. Fear of rejection? That’s fear of separation, and probably also fear of ego-death. The terror many people have at the idea of having to speak in public is basically fear of ego-death. Fear of intimacy, or “fear of commitment,” is basically fear of losing one’s autonomy.

 

Some other emotions we know by various popular names are just aliases for these primary fears. If you track them down to their most basic levels, the basic fears show through. Jealousy, for example, is an expression of the fear of separation, or devaluation: “She’ll value him more than she values me.” At its extreme, it can express the fear of ego-death: “I’ll be a worthless person.” Envy works the same way.

HUMAN FEARS PHOBIA TYPES

Shame and guilt express the fear of—or the actual condition of—separation and even ego-death. The same is true for embarrassment and humiliation.

Fear is often the base emotion on which anger floats. Oppressed people rage against their oppressors because they fear—or actually experience—loss of autonomy and even ego-death. The destruction of a culture or a religion by an invading occupier may be experienced as a kind of collective ego-death. Those who make us fearful will also make us angry.

Religious  intolerance may express the fear of ego-death on a cosmic level, and can even extend to existential anxiety: “If my god isn’t the right god, or the best god, then I’ll be stuck without a god. Without god on my side, I’ll be at the mercy of the impersonal forces of the environment. My ticket could be canceled at any moment, without a reason.”

Some of our fears, of course, have basic survival value. Others, however, are learned reflexes that can be weakened or re-learned.

That strange idea of “fearing our fears” becomes less strange when we realize that many of our avoidance reactions—turning down an invitation to a party if we tend to be uncomfortable in groups; putting off a doctor’s appointment; or not asking for a raise—are instant reflexes that are reactions to the memories of fear. They happen so quickly that we don’t actually experience the full effect of the fear. We experience a “micro-fear”—a reaction that’s a kind of shorthand code for the real fear. This reflex reaction has the same effect of causing us to evade and avoid as the real fear. This is why it’s fairly accurate to say that many of our so-called fear reactions are actually the fears of fears.

When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within and begin to see fear and its companion emotions as basically information, we can think about them consciously. And the more clearly and calmly we can articulate the origins of the fear, the less our fears will frighten us and control us.

SAYONARA

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CAREERS & SCHOOL

HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES FOR ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

Published

on

Holiday time ,

A time we have been looking forward to since school started! Blink and share this post if you can relate!

Fun holiday activities

I am a big pro-balance , i believe in late nights, early mornings and coffee but i also believe it is essential to lay back in the Bahamas and have someone bring you a Cool Mojito . So what do you do when you have a month or two of rest. Read On.
1.Rest
A bit Clichè right? But how many of us actually rest at least half of the time during the holiday?

While it is sometimes inevitable to reply that email, Attend that client, making time to take care of you, catch up on your favourite tv show or just sitting and breathing helps clear your brain and make you even more productive.

2. Learn a skill.

What a time to be Alive! Your next skill is literaly a few taps away. This skill can be a hobby you have been looking to get better at like sewing, singing, piano , cooking or something intergral in your career like history taking for new clinical rotation students or something you have wanted to do on the side( you have been talking about how you do not have time, and now Its here! ).

One of the founders of Afyatoon , an animation start-up that provides health education actually learnt how to animate during his summer holiday.

There are some things that are not taught in school and you are probably struggling with such as speaking in public , budgeting , dressing well, healthy living & more. Take time to train yourself on that.

3. Work on your side hustle
Balancing between studies and work is a challenge. Sometimes they are all demanding our time and energy. The holiday time therefore is a great time to focus on this thing , give it a mega push and this push will even save you the hustle when school starts.

 

4. Learn, explore and grow.
It is really eye-opening to learn a new thing or get to understand a certain topic . This can be a great time to do that. There is vast majority of knowledge and information on blogs, social media and in the actual world for you to learn .

Be curious, google , check out some you tube videos . But most of Enjoy your holiday .

 

What are you doing this holiday?

 

Twentiesco consultation doors are open! Book your consulation today and lets walk  this adulthood  journey together.

 

 

Continue Reading

ASK TWENTIES

LOSING MY REPUTATION TO AN ADDICTION;LESSONS IN MY TWENTIES

Published

on

 

You know the saying it takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it, the sad truth about this is it is TRUE.
What if I told you am a doctor well-loved by my patients, have saved lives several times. The first image you will have of me is a well-rounded and respectable man. Well that was me a few years ago. I was the man. I did everything right, straight As, focused, well-mannered. Everyone who knew me wanted to carry me around like a trophy. Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have practically no friends, colleagues barely answer my calls, but it wasn’t always like that, a decade ago.

alcohol addiction in my twenties
One of the most important lessons you will learn in your twenties is we all have our demons. Some it’s an ex who wronged us, others its sex, mine well was alcohol and an ex of course. For most of us, our proper relationships begin at our late teenage years and twenties.

broken relationship depression

I met a lady a few years back and unlike the fairy tales,It did not last. Alcohol was my demon and I turned to it as a coping mechanism. I drank so much when my relationship crumbled, I lost a lot of friends and let family members down.
In one year my reputation changed from a hardworking guy to an alcoholic failure. The thing is bad reputations stick more than good ones, I haven’t touched a drink in more than two years, but I still get labeled as such.

Am turned 30 this year, I feel like my twenties have flown by so fast and, yet I have changed and grown a lot. I have had my share of bad days, weeks and months and am I yet to have more. I am aware that I need to develop my coping skills and speak or deal with what bothers me instead of finding unhealthy and destructive coping mechanisms.

So, here’s my take from it all.
Mistakes are a significant part of our twenties and a better off made NOW. There are less people that might be affected by you deciding to use all your money betting on Croatia for a good number of us.

In your twenties learn to reach out to a falling friend. So many times, we see friends failing and we never say a word. Speaking to our circle of support in times of highs and obviously takes a big load of our minds and theirs too.

friendship in alcohol addiction
Success might take twenty years to achieve, don’t feel outdone. Social media is like a highlight reel of or lives. We are not seeing a great deal of the backstage to which we compare ours with.

Another thing is your reputation will NEVER recover, but its alright. People will give you a second chance, they will support you, but will remind you of your faults,  Accept your faults learn what happened has happened.

So, what should you do? Simple, wear your flaws and do not be ashamed of your struggles. Do not try to convince people your flaws aren’t a part of you. Life gets easier when you are open, it might seem tough, but you will cope.

Continue Reading

ASK TWENTIES

HOW TO APPLY FOR OPPORTUNITIES AND ACTUALLY GET THEM

Published

on

If you are one amazing twenti who seeks out opportunities to learn or seek support for something you do , at some point you have to prove your worthiness of what you are applying or contesting for.

(more…)

Continue Reading

Trending