You believe in Santa Claus.
You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.
You look like Santa Claus.
These stages can also be broken down into four stages that are not Santa related.
At this first stage we are helpless, we can’t talk, walk or feed ourselves. We copy from our parents or our care takers. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.
But some adults and community members around us suck.They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.
We also learn how to function in the society and support our daily activities. This mimicking goes on till adolescence or early adulthood. For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.
Here there is constant search of approval and validation. There is absence of independent and personal value. At this stage we become aware of society standards and expectations but we must also learn to be strong enough to act in spite of those standard. We must also develop ability to act by/for ourselves.
In this stage we learn what makes us different. We begin making decisions and testing ourselves. This involves trial error and experimentation, living in new places and meeting new people.
Some of these experiences go well and some don’t. Stick with the ones that go well and move on. This stage goes on until we hit our limitations.
The earlier this stage happens in our lives the better.
We all know it’s never too late.
In the near end of this stage, we Know things that are bad and those that are good for a while. Things like sex, travelling and drinking. This goes until we are in our thirties.
Some people are stuck in this stage
Always discovering themselves and finding nothing.
Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.
There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.
These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.
I Know i am in stage two , ARE you in your stage two too ? Let me know in the comments below how your stage two is going .
Now it’s time to make your dent. Most people stop entertaining pointless friends & activities. This stage is all about maximizing your potential. What will you leave behind, what will people remember you by. It’s all about how you are going to leave the world different as you found it.
In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.
People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.5
This stage involves holding on to what we already have through advising and passing down projects to juniors.
There is greater level of self-control in this stage.
Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.
Beware of inter stage conflicts and reshuffling
These stages occur and last differently for each person.
so chill and be awesome.
WHAT STAGE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE IN ? I would love to know,so leave a comment below telling me about that.
We could be stage mates . Right?