You have probably had one of those moments where you imagine something so cool and the next minute you are like “no way what if it doesn’t happen?”, “no I’d rather remain this way.” The same brain that helps us have colorful imaginations, tries to talk you out of it. When the cause of you not doing something is fear you could be missing out on a lot of things. The following things could be (or are actually happening) to your life.
Fear keeps you stuck
You probably want to quit that draining job to do something that will actually serve your purpose the most. You don’t stop complaining about the job and you still keep doing it. This doesn’t mean that everything you complain about should be left but if what you do serves your inner purpose, then why complain? Some of us prefer a familiar kind of pain than a new experience.so you’d rather complain about your job, friend or life, than actually doing something about it
Fear prevents you from giving and receiving too.
As we interact with people, we exchange a lot of ideas and help each other through. Fear of separation, rejection, abandonment and loss of connectedness keeps one from investing and being invested in.one would rather remain boxed up in his / her own world than risking being rejected or abandoned Although it is nice when gestures of love are returned, true love is one-way traffic. It’s a pure flow of giving and expecting nothing in return. Anything else is a contract. Notice how whenever you allow love to flow you are always clear, calm and strong. It is only when the thought arises, “What have they given me in return?” that there is confusion and resentment. Ego transacts, love transforms. Life is too short for all these meticulous contracts and transactions. Look out for yourself by focusing your love in a direction that feels right to you, but once you decide to love, remain clear, remain bright, and remain strong. Love without expectation. Don’t let fear get in your way. When the love you give is true, the people worthy of your love will gradually reveal themselves over time
Fear prevents you from being your best and following your true path.
One out of 500 people actually live and serve their purpose in the US. Don’t be fooled by what others say, especially when they try to tell you what is right for you. Listen and then draw your own conclusions. What is your intuition telling you? There is not a clear path that everyone should follow. Your greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding in life at all the wrong things. Choose a path that fits YOU. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. Challenge yourself to ask with each and every step, and each focus point that consumes your energy: “Does this thing I’m doing right now truly serve me and those I care about in the next few minutes, few months, and few years?”
Whatever you settle on, just make sure you don’t gain the whole world by losing your soul and purpose in the process.
Fear diminishes your self-respect.
When you see yourself as less, you are giving room for people to do the same. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Do your best and surrender the rest. Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment. That is all I can ever expect of anyone, including me.” Love yourself and be proud of everything you do, even your mistakes, because your mistakes mean you’re trying.
If you feel like others are not treating you with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you subconsciously marked yourself down. Because it’s YOU who tells others what your worth by showing them what you are willing to accept for your time and attention. So get off the clearance rack. If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.
Fear keeps you from having the right company.
Sadly, no matter how much love you give, some relationships simply aren’t meant to be. You can try your hardest, you can do everything and say everything, but sometimes people just aren’t worth stressing over anymore, and they aren’t worth worrying about. It’s important to know when to distance yourself from someone who only hurts you and brings you down. When you give your love to someone, truly and purely without expectation, and it’s never good enough for them, there’s a good chance you’re giving your love to the wrong person.
The bottom line is that long-term relationships should help you, not hurt you. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded. And remember, good relationships are a sacred bond – a circle of trust. Both parties must be 100% on board. If and when the time comes to let a relationship go, don’t be hostile. Simply thank the relationships that don’t work out for you, because they just made room for the ones that will.
Fear prevents you from priceless opportunities and experiences
As Thich Nhat Hanh so perfectly said, “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
In many cases you stay stuck in your old routines for no other reason than that they are familiar to you. In other words, you’re afraid of change and the unknown. You continually put your dreams and goals off until tomorrow, and you pass on great opportunities simply because they have the potential to lead you out of your comfort zone.
You start using excuses to justify your lack of backbone: “Someday when I have more money,” or “when I’m older,” or the over-abused “I’ll get to it as soon as I have more time.” This is a vicious cycle that leads to a deeply unsatisfying life – a way of thinking that eventually sends you to your grave with immense regret. Regret that you didn’t follow your heart. Regret that you always put everyone else’s needs before your own. Regret that you didn’t do what you could have done when you had the chance.
Fear keeps you from making concrete decisions
You cannot live your life at the mercy of chance. You cannot stumble along with a map marked only with the places you fear, or the places you know you don’t want to revisit. You cannot remain trapped, endlessly, in a state where you are unable to ask for directions, even though you’re terribly lost, because you don’t know your destination.
You have to commit to goals that speak to you. You have to stand up, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “It isn’t good enough for me to know only what I DON’T want in life. I need to decide what I DO want.”
In some ways, fear is a good thing – it keeps us safe and prevents us from doing things that might harm us. It’s fear that keeps us from venturing into dangerous places and from doing things we’re not prepared for. A healthy dose of fear is a wonderful thing to have.
On the other hand, fear can prevent us from doing things that would be great for us – if we could only figure out a way to face and overcome those fears.
HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES FOR ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
Holiday time ,
A time we have been looking forward to since school started! Blink and share this post if you can relate!
I am a big pro-balance , i believe in late nights, early mornings and coffee but i also believe it is essential to lay back in the Bahamas and have someone bring you a Cool Mojito . So what do you do when you have a month or two of rest. Read On.
A bit Clichè right? But how many of us actually rest at least half of the time during the holiday?
While it is sometimes inevitable to reply that email, Attend that client, making time to take care of you, catch up on your favourite tv show or just sitting and breathing helps clear your brain and make you even more productive.
2. Learn a skill.
What a time to be Alive! Your next skill is literaly a few taps away. This skill can be a hobby you have been looking to get better at like sewing, singing, piano , cooking or something intergral in your career like history taking for new clinical rotation students or something you have wanted to do on the side( you have been talking about how you do not have time, and now Its here! ).
One of the founders of Afyatoon , an animation start-up that provides health education actually learnt how to animate during his summer holiday.
There are some things that are not taught in school and you are probably struggling with such as speaking in public , budgeting , dressing well, healthy living & more. Take time to train yourself on that.
3. Work on your side hustle
Balancing between studies and work is a challenge. Sometimes they are all demanding our time and energy. The holiday time therefore is a great time to focus on this thing , give it a mega push and this push will even save you the hustle when school starts.
4. Learn, explore and grow.
It is really eye-opening to learn a new thing or get to understand a certain topic . This can be a great time to do that. There is vast majority of knowledge and information on blogs, social media and in the actual world for you to learn .
Be curious, google , check out some you tube videos . But most of Enjoy your holiday .
What are you doing this holiday?
Twentiesco consultation doors are open! Book your consulation today and lets walk this adulthood journey together.
LOSING MY REPUTATION TO AN ADDICTION;LESSONS IN MY TWENTIES
You know the saying it takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it, the sad truth about this is it is TRUE.
What if I told you am a doctor well-loved by my patients, have saved lives several times. The first image you will have of me is a well-rounded and respectable man. Well that was me a few years ago. I was the man. I did everything right, straight As, focused, well-mannered. Everyone who knew me wanted to carry me around like a trophy. Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have practically no friends, colleagues barely answer my calls, but it wasn’t always like that, a decade ago.
One of the most important lessons you will learn in your twenties is we all have our demons. Some it’s an ex who wronged us, others its sex, mine well was alcohol and an ex of course. For most of us, our proper relationships begin at our late teenage years and twenties.
I met a lady a few years back and unlike the fairy tales,It did not last. Alcohol was my demon and I turned to it as a coping mechanism. I drank so much when my relationship crumbled, I lost a lot of friends and let family members down.
In one year my reputation changed from a hardworking guy to an alcoholic failure. The thing is bad reputations stick more than good ones, I haven’t touched a drink in more than two years, but I still get labeled as such.
Am turned 30 this year, I feel like my twenties have flown by so fast and, yet I have changed and grown a lot. I have had my share of bad days, weeks and months and am I yet to have more. I am aware that I need to develop my coping skills and speak or deal with what bothers me instead of finding unhealthy and destructive coping mechanisms.
So, here’s my take from it all.
Mistakes are a significant part of our twenties and a better off made NOW. There are less people that might be affected by you deciding to use all your money betting on Croatia for a good number of us.
In your twenties learn to reach out to a falling friend. So many times, we see friends failing and we never say a word. Speaking to our circle of support in times of highs and obviously takes a big load of our minds and theirs too.
Success might take twenty years to achieve, don’t feel outdone. Social media is like a highlight reel of or lives. We are not seeing a great deal of the backstage to which we compare ours with.
Another thing is your reputation will NEVER recover, but its alright. People will give you a second chance, they will support you, but will remind you of your faults, Accept your faults learn what happened has happened.
So, what should you do? Simple, wear your flaws and do not be ashamed of your struggles. Do not try to convince people your flaws aren’t a part of you. Life gets easier when you are open, it might seem tough, but you will cope.
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