LESSONS FROM OPTION B
She said that her great success (she is the chief operating officer of Facebook, which has made her a billionaire) would have been impossible without the unwavering support of her husband. Now, in the cruelest way, she had lost him.
Slowly the fog began to lift. She found she had something useful to offer at a meeting; she got the children through their first birthdays without their father; she began to have one O.K. day and then another. She made it through a year, all of the “milestone days” had passed and something began to revive within her. Grief is the final act of love, and recovery from it is the necessary betrayal on which the future depends. There is only this one life, and we are the ones who are here to live it.
Option B is a book about overcoming and growing up and out of hardships. While Sheryl thought she had everything going well from the book Lean in , Life just made a hairpin turn. Sheryl shares how she survived such a tragedy and how different people faced different losses, trauma and other painful experiences and grew thicker skin through it.
1.You do not want to be the none question asking friend
With the non question asking friend you will go through a traumatic experience or have your leg amputated and they will just ask you about the weather or make a joke and never talk about what you just went through , how you feeling , what is the way forward or how are you handling it. Sheryl talks about how she experienced the non question asking friends and how she was also one of them .After losing her husband in a heart attack ,some of her coworkers would just talk to her about the weather like nothing happened and that sucked because while she was afraid of constantly just talking to people about her loss she also wanted her close people to know what she was going through or how it was .
Sometimes we are afraid of talking about things like that thinking that we are going to remind people of things like that but reality is they always remember , the best you can do is be an ear to listen to that because sometimes all we need is to just talk about it . Sheryl went onto to ask her husband’s roommate during a get together that his husband used to have with his college roommates in every year.This man was diagnosed with cancer . she took the courage to ask him how he was dealing with it because he was becoming less and less capable of working and at some point he would have to quit his job and and after asking him how he really was .he went down and told her his fears and concerns. I think we should be courageous enough to do that sometimes because it shows that were concerned.And sometimes while we cannot fix anything , listening and being there through out says I’m here I’m aware of what you’re going through and I will sit with you through this.
- Encourage truth-telling and honest feedback at work .
The book is about building resilience and finding the way forward after a failure .Sheryl also talks about failures at work and how truth-telling can help us fix these failures and prevent them from re happening or from happening in the first place . We often see somethings coming . When that co worker has been not concentrating enough at work because of certain problems , soon enough the sales might go down.They WILL go down. And before thisvhappens there is a window period for us to address such an issue and fix it . Apart from preventing these things from happening, we can also encourage each other to grow from a loss or a setback by pushing each other to our best performances.
3.There is posttraumatic growth.
As as common as post traumatic disorder syndrome(PTSD) is posttraumatic growth is even more common but RARELY spoken of. Of all the people who face traumatic events at some point in their lives , its only 15 percent that develop PTSD , more than 50% of these people experience what sheryl calls post traumatic growth. And its a decision they make. Post traumatic growth comes in different ways such as finding a new meaning in life. Most traumatic events involve near death experiences . It is moments like these that remind you of what a beautiful thing life is and show you how much you have been taking for granted .Instead of focusing on the post traumatic disorder syndrome it is great to focus on the positive growth and encourage it . You cannot remain the same and if you can choose growth after trauma, Do. Sheryl gives examples of so many people who went on and became the best of themselves that they could never have become if it weren’t for this wake up call in their life.
- Shared hope
Sheryl narrates about the Uruguay rugby players who were in airplane crash .
On the Andes mountains.😢
Most of these players survived because they had shared hope and this was because they had built a bond along the way as a team. And while some didnt survive they also didnt give in to despair . Along the way they built resilience and were able to overcome the hardships in such adverse conditions.
Till next time.
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