Written by

Irene Denis (

We try so much to make things work. We try so hard to know people and in the process they only tell us what they want us to know, and we miss out the tiny but very important details. We miss out details that we would have noticed if we took the time to notice rather than letting things be presented to us on a silver plate. A matter can be presented as white or black, shades of whatever color are non existent! The twentieth century has evolved and twisted everything. Meetings are held on the phone, plans and schedules are made in the phone, sermons are sent through social networks, people meet and actually date via social media. As if this is not enough to make my my great grandmother faint in shock (May her soul rest in peace) people actually get married through the internet!! I repeat myself, people nowadays creat an imaginary scene where they walk down the aisle and make their vows!!! (Lets all please have a moment of silence to ponder a while upon this….)

Sincerely speaking, i am no guru at this, but i think somethings were meant to be done at some place. But anyways, back to my point, people tend to make every conversation a Q n A session and sometimes a simple conversation may become an interrogation!

People just ask a lot of questions that other people have no honest answers for. If you want to know a persons true character or intention, it would be best to take some time getting to know them and let things unfold slowly, naturally. Not to mean that you shouldn’t ask any questions if you are interested in knowing something about them. Asking will help you align the person in the direction of what you would like to know in a smart and careful way. Turning a conversation into an interrogation session only allows you to hear what someone wants you to hear and not the complete truth.

You do not have to talk  to someone about a very complex topic like politics or what their future plans are to get to know them. A simple topic such as the weather of that particular day, their hobbies or what they like to do in their free time may bring out a lot in a person than a questionnaire you prepared for them.

As the pyramid of knowledge is built, the easy things come first and as you move up, the complex things follow. By then, they wouldn’t seem complex because the base that covered the easy staff was well laid.

I would like to relate this in cases where one is building a relationship that will later result into a fruitful marriage. Making choices such as the kind of house or car you would like, the number of children you would like to have, the schools they will go to, and your daily budget will come easy if you paid attention to the little details at the beginning of your relationship. The little but basic things matter a lot. A persons favorite color, hobbies, birth date, favorite food, sleeping or waking time. They may sound irrelevant, but your understanding towards these things is what will make your future better and easier to build.

It is my hope that we will look forward to have meaningful conversations, that will bring to surface our true selves, and allow us to accept each other for who we truly are. A castle would have never been a castle if it wasn’t for the first brick that was laid as a foundation. Every great relationship owes its foundation to the simple but basic things in life. I hope yours will do too, someday soon.



  1. This…This is so good . You are so correct. The thing abut asking interview like questions… For a subject too broad like religion and put someone in a black or white spectrum. This article really spoke tome .thanks for writting it