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#FAM, WHAT FAMILY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

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​                Being a global citizen in the 21st century is a privilege and a piece of cake. People are connected to each other, giving and receiving information within a click of a second on the palms of their hands.  The growth of science and technology has been of a very big impact in today’s society especially to growing teens and tweens like me and you. It was just last week, I was talking to a good friend who happens to study oversees via whatsapp call, and after a very long nice conversation I began to think, waoh!! Technology makes the world “flat”, I mean its amazing right?. The growth of social medias has taken connection to a whole new level, making life as simplified as unfriending someone on facebook, just a click of a button and voila!! We are not friends anymore.

Never the less, technology has it’s pros and cons. Probably there is more isolation than connection. Have you ever been in a family reunion or party where everyone seems to be praying to a “god” who won’t talk back, thanking him for the communionship but you realize it’s their phones they are busy with?. That is what I’m talking about, technology has created more of “I’s” than “We’s” , technology has brought more of “self-ies”, technology has brought more isolation than connection. While we’re busy chatting with multiple strangers in the internet, technology is denying us the opportunity to make real conversations and connections. I have come to realize most people who look to be “intimate” on social media are “boring” in real life. We can not communicate and hold real conversations anymore. It has become my biggest concern that the 21st tweens can not seat and hold conversations, I mean who approaches a girl in real life anymore? (you’re smiling right), these small things called phones have replaced “I love you” to “I luv u” and someone out there thinks there is no difference between the two. We are not able to make real friends, real relationships all because they look too good in the internet and where are lazy to replenish them in real life.

Well, may I get my self clearly understood, I’m not saying technology is bad or it should somehow be abandoned. All I’m saying is technology should not take us away from the reality of life, it should not deny us the opportunity of eating a healthy meal like we used to always do in the past, everyone at the table listening and talking to real people about real things instead of holding our phones under the table up-to dating our statuses to “having dinner with fam”, what family are you talking about?.

Does social media create more isolation? Don’t stand on the fence, feel free to tell me what you think

May the transformation forces be with you

Regards

Steven

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. easylyfhacks

    October 28, 2017 at 5:31 am

    This is amazing. I love tech so much but there should be a moderation of it’s cons that we know of

  2. moabdi1

    October 28, 2017 at 11:29 am

    well said, and what I think is that we live in an increasingly transient world where we are separated from our families and friends ..everyone struggling to build his/her life somewhere .. so the web has provided us with devices that keep us in touch

    • forever_herie

      October 28, 2017 at 2:41 pm

      Very true. We have to master the art of being present .

  3. rono

    October 29, 2017 at 11:35 am

    i agree it is really crippling our communication skills

  4. prisca

    October 31, 2017 at 7:57 am

    well said

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ASK TWENTIES

LOSING MY REPUTATION TO AN ADDICTION;LESSONS IN MY TWENTIES

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You know the saying it takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it, the sad truth about this is it is TRUE.
What if I told you am a doctor well-loved by my patients, have saved lives several times. The first image you will have of me is a well-rounded and respectable man. Well that was me a few years ago. I was the man. I did everything right, straight As, focused, well-mannered. Everyone who knew me wanted to carry me around like a trophy. Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have practically no friends, colleagues barely answer my calls, but it wasn’t always like that, a decade ago.

alcohol addiction in my twenties
One of the most important lessons you will learn in your twenties is we all have our demons. Some it’s an ex who wronged us, others its sex, mine well was alcohol and an ex of course. For most of us, our proper relationships begin at our late teenage years and twenties.

broken relationship depression

I met a lady a few years back and unlike the fairy tales,It did not last. Alcohol was my demon and I turned to it as a coping mechanism. I drank so much when my relationship crumbled, I lost a lot of friends and let family members down.
In one year my reputation changed from a hardworking guy to an alcoholic failure. The thing is bad reputations stick more than good ones, I haven’t touched a drink in more than two years, but I still get labeled as such.

Am turned 30 this year, I feel like my twenties have flown by so fast and, yet I have changed and grown a lot. I have had my share of bad days, weeks and months and am I yet to have more. I am aware that I need to develop my coping skills and speak or deal with what bothers me instead of finding unhealthy and destructive coping mechanisms.

So, here’s my take from it all.
Mistakes are a significant part of our twenties and a better off made NOW. There are less people that might be affected by you deciding to use all your money betting on Croatia for a good number of us.

In your twenties learn to reach out to a falling friend. So many times, we see friends failing and we never say a word. Speaking to our circle of support in times of highs and obviously takes a big load of our minds and theirs too.

friendship in alcohol addiction
Success might take twenty years to achieve, don’t feel outdone. Social media is like a highlight reel of or lives. We are not seeing a great deal of the backstage to which we compare ours with.

Another thing is your reputation will NEVER recover, but its alright. People will give you a second chance, they will support you, but will remind you of your faults,  Accept your faults learn what happened has happened.

So, what should you do? Simple, wear your flaws and do not be ashamed of your struggles. Do not try to convince people your flaws aren’t a part of you. Life gets easier when you are open, it might seem tough, but you will cope.

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ASK TWENTIES

HOW TO APPLY FOR OPPORTUNITIES AND ACTUALLY GET THEM

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If you are one amazing twenti who seeks out opportunities to learn or seek support for something you do , at some point you have to prove your worthiness of what you are applying or contesting for.

(more…)

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LIFESTYLE

HOW TO SPOT YOUR TYPE INSTANTLY

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how to know your type love

What kind of a patner do you want?

We often respond to this question by saying,

kind, self motivated , good looking , supportive and more.

When we however meet such people , we may not want them for us.

Sometimes you come to learn this so much later in a relationship.

how to know your type math maker

This is because the things we mention are usually whats not whos.

They are what the patner is . Not who the patner is.

It is the whos that keep relationships not whats.

And to know who you want , you first should know who you are.

So how do yo know from the begining that this person is your type?
Here are three musts to check

1. CORE ESSENTIALS [things , you cannot tolerate . AT ALL.]
These things instantly tell you who is not for you.

Core essential are red flags that show you that he is against your core values. These are things you cannot trade.

These are not surface things like crooked eyebrows or disorganized teeth.

They are deep things like not being able to stand someone who takes pleasure in the suffering of others or someone who is judgemental and close minded. By knowing these are the things you cant stand, you also realise who you cant stand.

If you go into a relationship you will always feel irritated and mistreated. Because your core values which are who you are, are not harmonised.

2.NON NEGOTIABLES

These are things that actually cause conflicts and even break relationships.
Your opinion on these things is least likely to change over the next years
Both yours and theirs’
These are

Marriage

Kids

Family

Sex

Money

Religion

Marriage
Do you want to get married? how soon?Is the feeling mutual?

Kids
Do you want kids , how many , how soon?
Is he/she thinking the same?

Family
How close are you to you family? Do you like hanging around them too much?
If you are and your patner isn’t one of you will simply need to give in.

Are ready to be the one? Is he/she ready?

Sex
What is your opinion and outlook on sex.
Some want to wait , some do not.

Where do you stand?Are you willing to compromise?

Money
Are you frugal(prefer to save as much money as you can) or generous?( a giver and spender)
If you are all opposites, you may work out but there will be issues and you should all be aware why such issues are arising.

Religion
If your religion is something that is a big part of who you are , then dating/ marrying someone outside your denomination might be as an issue.
Is it a challenge you are willing to face? Are you willing to compromise?

This is a question you should ask yourself for all these things.

If you are willing to compromise , its a green light. If you both aren’t , it is going to be an issue that will arise from time to time.

3.DESIRABLES
These are the whats .

So now you know how we rush to mention the least important things.

They are things like.

I want her to have a big Nyach

I want him to have a car

I want him to be tall

At the core of things like i want her to be independent. Is really I want a woman with whom i can share and not just support.
Its the same when ladies say they want a man with a car. They need a man who is self sufficient.

So it is not the car that they want , it is what brings the car to him & that is ambition and hardwork.

And for the case of Nyach.

Well,That is madness.

That is it twenties . Get to the core of yourselves and have a great time finding & keeping the love of your life.

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