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LIFESTYLE

DEALING WITH STRESS AND DEPRESSION

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When you feel stressed to complete a certain task , that stress keeps you in alignment with the path you are on. This is good stress and is relieved after completing that particular task.

But then there is the kind of stress that doesn’t serve a purpose for you.It leaves you experiencing anxiety , disconnected and may even end up in depression or a panic attack.

There are times in your lives when something is at stake and you  are worried. Times like sickness of loved ones , financial and relationship issues ,failure in work or studies and so much more. While I’d love to sit here and tell you not to stress , i have been there and i know it wont work. Stressing is human . Stress is a signal .Therefore you should not end up at worrying. If stressing has

i.taken you to a dark place

ii. seems like it is going to or

iii.for the sake of knowledge

Here are ways to deal with stressing and avoiding or getting out of depression.

  1. Identify the origin of your worry  . This may be something that you are experiencing  at that time like failure or a long-term thing.  Make peace with your past. Some incidents may have damaged you, you need to acknowledge that they happened and that they hurt you and grow from them . Beware of your fears and traits and realize that they may also  be the cause of your stress.
  2. Identify your  power in this situation .Getting stuck at worrying isn’t healthy. See what you can do to deal with your stressor . If its a relationship crisis see if you can do something to make it work, or address your partner on some thing that can be done . Ask for a make up test and prepare for it so you don’t fail, ask for forgiveness, forgive . Do something to change the outcome of the situation you are in.
  3. Speak to someone APPROPRIATE . A friend preferably one who understands your situation and isn’t afraid of giving you honest advice . And sometimes that friend is God . So Pray.
  4. Build a great emotional support group. Do not get too immersed in the #hustleislife and forget on your need for human interaction . However big or powerful you may be.Develop a healthy emotional intelligence and a healthy routine ; this is 2017 , we know all work and no play makes you a dull person.
  5. Learn your lesson and move on
  6. Consider therapy. I come from a country  where we go to heal malaria, rashes, fever and physical wounds. We are keen on that. Our physical health but not so keen on our mental health. How many times have we been told to get over it and move on, we need to clean up messes in our lives. Clean up the mess after your broken relationship and family, then move on.You are not a Tsunami. The heart that gets broken today is the one that’s going to love to tomorrow. So make it ready again.when-ur-stressed-out-but-you-play-it-cool-9552786
  7. Do not self medicate and make an effort to stay addiction free

All the best

 

Till next time

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. chally361

    October 5, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    #hustleIsLife ha ha ha… wanasema “what heals the soul,heals the body too” and “what troubles the soul troubles the soul too”….good work herie #missBlogger

    • chally361

      October 5, 2017 at 2:15 pm

      hustleIsLife ha ha ha… wanasema “what heals the soul,heals the body too” and “what troubles the soul troubles the body too”….good work herie #missBlogger

  2. Zitacornel

    October 5, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    Thank you,, keep on being positive woman

  3. Elisante Tarimo

    October 10, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    Nice

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ASK TWENTIES

LOSING MY REPUTATION TO AN ADDICTION;LESSONS IN MY TWENTIES

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You know the saying it takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it, the sad truth about this is it is TRUE.
What if I told you am a doctor well-loved by my patients, have saved lives several times. The first image you will have of me is a well-rounded and respectable man. Well that was me a few years ago. I was the man. I did everything right, straight As, focused, well-mannered. Everyone who knew me wanted to carry me around like a trophy. Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic, I have practically no friends, colleagues barely answer my calls, but it wasn’t always like that, a decade ago.

alcohol addiction in my twenties
One of the most important lessons you will learn in your twenties is we all have our demons. Some it’s an ex who wronged us, others its sex, mine well was alcohol and an ex of course. For most of us, our proper relationships begin at our late teenage years and twenties.

broken relationship depression

I met a lady a few years back and unlike the fairy tales,It did not last. Alcohol was my demon and I turned to it as a coping mechanism. I drank so much when my relationship crumbled, I lost a lot of friends and let family members down.
In one year my reputation changed from a hardworking guy to an alcoholic failure. The thing is bad reputations stick more than good ones, I haven’t touched a drink in more than two years, but I still get labeled as such.

Am turned 30 this year, I feel like my twenties have flown by so fast and, yet I have changed and grown a lot. I have had my share of bad days, weeks and months and am I yet to have more. I am aware that I need to develop my coping skills and speak or deal with what bothers me instead of finding unhealthy and destructive coping mechanisms.

So, here’s my take from it all.
Mistakes are a significant part of our twenties and a better off made NOW. There are less people that might be affected by you deciding to use all your money betting on Croatia for a good number of us.

In your twenties learn to reach out to a falling friend. So many times, we see friends failing and we never say a word. Speaking to our circle of support in times of highs and obviously takes a big load of our minds and theirs too.

friendship in alcohol addiction
Success might take twenty years to achieve, don’t feel outdone. Social media is like a highlight reel of or lives. We are not seeing a great deal of the backstage to which we compare ours with.

Another thing is your reputation will NEVER recover, but its alright. People will give you a second chance, they will support you, but will remind you of your faults,  Accept your faults learn what happened has happened.

So, what should you do? Simple, wear your flaws and do not be ashamed of your struggles. Do not try to convince people your flaws aren’t a part of you. Life gets easier when you are open, it might seem tough, but you will cope.

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ASK TWENTIES

HOW TO APPLY FOR OPPORTUNITIES AND ACTUALLY GET THEM

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If you are one amazing twenti who seeks out opportunities to learn or seek support for something you do , at some point you have to prove your worthiness of what you are applying or contesting for.

(more…)

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LIFESTYLE

HOW TO SPOT YOUR TYPE INSTANTLY

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how to know your type love

What kind of a patner do you want?

We often respond to this question by saying,

kind, self motivated , good looking , supportive and more.

When we however meet such people , we may not want them for us.

Sometimes you come to learn this so much later in a relationship.

how to know your type math maker

This is because the things we mention are usually whats not whos.

They are what the patner is . Not who the patner is.

It is the whos that keep relationships not whats.

And to know who you want , you first should know who you are.

So how do yo know from the begining that this person is your type?
Here are three musts to check

1. CORE ESSENTIALS [things , you cannot tolerate . AT ALL.]
These things instantly tell you who is not for you.

Core essential are red flags that show you that he is against your core values. These are things you cannot trade.

These are not surface things like crooked eyebrows or disorganized teeth.

They are deep things like not being able to stand someone who takes pleasure in the suffering of others or someone who is judgemental and close minded. By knowing these are the things you cant stand, you also realise who you cant stand.

If you go into a relationship you will always feel irritated and mistreated. Because your core values which are who you are, are not harmonised.

2.NON NEGOTIABLES

These are things that actually cause conflicts and even break relationships.
Your opinion on these things is least likely to change over the next years
Both yours and theirs’
These are

Marriage

Kids

Family

Sex

Money

Religion

Marriage
Do you want to get married? how soon?Is the feeling mutual?

Kids
Do you want kids , how many , how soon?
Is he/she thinking the same?

Family
How close are you to you family? Do you like hanging around them too much?
If you are and your patner isn’t one of you will simply need to give in.

Are ready to be the one? Is he/she ready?

Sex
What is your opinion and outlook on sex.
Some want to wait , some do not.

Where do you stand?Are you willing to compromise?

Money
Are you frugal(prefer to save as much money as you can) or generous?( a giver and spender)
If you are all opposites, you may work out but there will be issues and you should all be aware why such issues are arising.

Religion
If your religion is something that is a big part of who you are , then dating/ marrying someone outside your denomination might be as an issue.
Is it a challenge you are willing to face? Are you willing to compromise?

This is a question you should ask yourself for all these things.

If you are willing to compromise , its a green light. If you both aren’t , it is going to be an issue that will arise from time to time.

3.DESIRABLES
These are the whats .

So now you know how we rush to mention the least important things.

They are things like.

I want her to have a big Nyach

I want him to have a car

I want him to be tall

At the core of things like i want her to be independent. Is really I want a woman with whom i can share and not just support.
Its the same when ladies say they want a man with a car. They need a man who is self sufficient.

So it is not the car that they want , it is what brings the car to him & that is ambition and hardwork.

And for the case of Nyach.

Well,That is madness.

That is it twenties . Get to the core of yourselves and have a great time finding & keeping the love of your life.

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